At Lowes: “Yenkos,” Limos & NoHomos

June 8 was gorgeous and I got home from work early enough so after walking the dog I started Bridget up, put a dollar in my shirt pocket and cruised over to Lowes in Abingdon to see what was what.

As usual, there wasn’t any British car section so I just slid in toward the back behind a ’55(?) Chevy. This one had one of those three-foot-tall Ed Roth-style shifters in it, which I think is da bomb even though it’s an automatic.

What? No skull on top??

I was there early and determined not to stay late. Saw quite a few of the regulars–the turbo Corvair was there, a bunch of Cobra guys, lots of ‘Vettes, Chevelles and Novas. There were at least two “Yenko”-badged Novas, including my neighbor, Jim’s. Two 427-powered Novas on the lot.

Both “clones,” of course. (There were 37 of the originals made, maybe a half dozen remain).

I miss my old Nova (it was a ’67 SS with a small block and a 4-speed). But lately I’ve been more drawn to early ’50s monster sedans that look pretty stock. I saw two on Friday; one’s a Chevy with a Blue Flame 6 and the other is a Straight-8 Buick. Here’s a shot of both:

Here’s the Buick’s engine:

Anyway, I did see a few things I had not seen before. Some dude cruised in with this Ford . . . limo?

This shot does not do it justice. The cab is extended by about two feet and features bench seats that face each other. The owner was talking with a group of people the whole time so I didn’t interrupt. Beautiful car, nicely detailed. Looks like a small block behind the louvers:Can’t tell for sure though.

One of my favorites was this . . . thing. Looks like Toyota truck or maybe Land Cruiser running gear. Lots of rough fabrication. Awesome.Cruising is not overtly political but the people who come tend to be conservative. Still, I was surprised to see a petition table up near the front. There was even a woman dressed in a man’s gray flannel suit–an attempt, I guess, to drive home for people the dangerous and weird world that awaits us if gay marriage is allowed to remain the law of the land. When I first saw her I thought the petition was going the other way.I still can’t imagine why it bothers anyone that gay couples should be able to get married and enjoy the same rights as heterosexual couples. Marriage is, after all, a function of the state. It’s a contract, registered (and, often dissolved) in the courthouse–not the church. If anyone had asked, I might have made the case against it, as gently as possible. But no one approached me to sign it as I walked through. I supposed they recognized me as the guy who drove the gheyest car on the lot.

And I was, of course, recruiting . . . .Dude! Get outta there! Girls don’t like cars like that!! Get you a Yenko Nova!


About stuntmidget

I'm a poor mechanic and general wisenheimer. I love old cars and the stories behind them, true or not.
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